334. The marriage question. Again

Within 2 days, I’ve had 3 strangers ask me if I wanted to get married, all within barely 10 minutes of meeting me. 2 asked whether I was keen on being matchmade. Y’know, I still don’t quite know how to react each time. I know many of you have been asked the same questions before. I’ve written about the whole marriage question prior to this, and I stand by my answer of “I have yet to meet someone worthy of marriage.”

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Be clear: I am not averse to marriage; of course I want to get married and have children, and raise khalifahs who will contribute back to the community. I’m equally sure many of my fellow singletons do too. We just need to make sure the person we choose is going to be the right sparring partner for the long haul.

I won’t lie – I have been befriending men and keeping an open heart (& eyes) in hopes of finding my partner-in-crime. I’ve been open to being matchmade as well. Things have just yet to work out for now. Allah knows best.

It’s funny how some people think being independent and being in a relationship is a dichotomy. They say: “Oh, she’s too independent. Men are intimidated by her.” Sigh. One can be independent AND still be in a relationship – it just has to be with the right person. In fact, I believe that’s how it works best – 2 independent souls choosing to ride through life’s blessings and challenges together.

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The third person today ended off the conversation with: “Go and get married. Now is a good age for you to get married. Make lots of du’a. Ask your parents to make du’a. InshaAllah, all will be well. And may He make it clear to you when you finally meet your jodoh.”

His du’a nicely firms up my belief as well – everything will happen in His time. All we have to be concerned with is being our best self, and to ask Him to always keep our hearts firm with patience, gratitude & husnuzon in His plans.

Ah, if I just wanted to get married, merely for the sake of it, I’d have done that long ago. For now, I’ll just keep busy living my life to the fullest, strive to be of blessings to others, and prepare myself to be the best partner. I’m sure whoever has been written for me is doing the same thing too.

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To those who have been making du’as for me to find a righteous partner, thank you.

To all my single friends, I hope you’ll keep your head, faith & life momentum up as well. You are not alone.

P.s: Just for laughs, here’s a little excerpt of what transpired in class a couple of days ago

While discussing a comprehension passage about marriage – dude in passage was going to shift in with his in-laws – lively discussion about traditional male-female roles in marriage ensues. Then this boy suddenly remarked:
Male student (MS) 1: Miss Atikah, are you even going to get married?
“Excuse me? What’s that supposed to mean?”
MS 1: No, I don’t mean that badly. I mean, would you consider marrying a man?
“If he is worthy.”
MS 2: Bam. It’s like Miss Atikah is Thor’s Hammer. -in deep voice- Only if he is worthy.
MS1: You’re expecting to marry a god is it?

HAHAHAH. Oh dear God.

Warm Hugs,

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6 thoughts on “334. The marriage question. Again

  1. I came across your blog by accident while looking for solo hijabi traveller. Alot of people especially my muslim friends are against it because in hadith and quran, it is forbidden for women to travel alone they said unless accompanied by a mahram.

    You are such an inspiration and made me feel at ease with the prospect of travelling. I, too, have the constant when are you getting married question. I’m going 30 soon and yes I do want to get married. My mom is not in favour of my travelling plans anymore. She wants me to focus on finding a husband. But I don’t think I could ever do that. 😦

  2. Ya Allah,,that’s also my parents concern, they no longer support my travel plan as before and always rush me to get married, i am also going 30 soon and of course also want to get married. Atikah, I’d like to hear your opinion about this, how we convince them that travel do nothing wrong in our lives, even if we going 30 and still single -__-

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