314. We need to know.

Thursday, Sept 10, is Suicide Prevention Day. We are all just broken souls, striving and longing for wholeness, needing grace every moment of every day. My life isn’t perfect, and I honestly don’t think yours is either. Social media is, as Andrea Gibson aptly writes, a “lousy mortician, desperately trying to make us all look more alive.” Our online personas have trouble telling the truth. Meaning, we mostly don’t post on our bad days.

IMG_0201On my bad days, I refuse to get out of bed, I cry, I throw things, I don’t speak to my loved ones, I get angry at myself, I tell myself I am not worthy. Don’t be fooled. We are all going through our own silent battles – let’s not discount each other’s struggles. Just because our struggles are different doesn’t make it any less real.

Anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts – I’ve been there, I’ve gotten treatment, and I’ve nearly succumbed to the dark pits, but I refuse to let it define me. My tragedy is not my calling card. I have survived, and will continue to choose to survive. I’d rather live life in the open with all the broken bits revealed than pretend to be perfect, because expecting perfection kills, sometimes literally. I have lost many people this way and have my heart broken countless times as I see people I’ve grown to trust walk away after seeing the broken bits, but I have also gained beautiful souls who choose to stick with me regardless as well.

I want to own my life as I walk through it, seeking progress not perfection, and living in grace and by grace and through grace. I want to thank the people whom have chosen to be by me as well, both through the good days and not so good days. I hope we all strive to be kind to each other, for we really, truly, do not know if our acts of kindness, no matter how small, may have just saved another life.

Tell the people you love that you love them. They need to know.

Lots of love,

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