Do you know how grief feels like? Quite a few of my solo travels were driven by a need to overcome grief. Grief due to loss – either loss through death, conscious decisions or unforeseen circumstances.
“You will lose someone or something you believe you can’t live without,and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.” ―Anne Lamott
I’ve learnt that there is no timetable for grieving nor is there such a thing as the proper way to grieve. We have different ways of navigating through the pain, and I guess that is perfectly what we need to do – navigate through it. In the span of the past week, I’ve had to confront both loss and death. Loss of someone I have grown to appreciate, and the death of someone I look up to professionally. Ah perhaps it’s the combined toll of the grief, but the news of the death hit me extra hard. Death, no matter through what circumstances, is always hard to comprehend or swallow. The gaping hole it leaves for the living is a jarring reminder; of borrowed time, of missed chances, of unsaid words. Perhaps death, just like loss, isn’t meant to be understood, but to be graciously accepted. To provide the impetus to say what needs to be said, to forgive what needs to pass, to build what needs to exist between the living.