I had a conversation with a fellow traveller last night, and it got to a point when he asked, “How do you deal with emotional attachment with the people you meet on your journey?”
I have been mulling over the same question, especially after making a conscious decision to walk away from someone I’d developed an attachment to. It’s not something I’m proud of, and it’s a decision I am still questioning.
Perhaps it’s easier to be emotionally open and vulnerable with people you know aren’t going to stay, like fellow travellers you meet on a journey. Perhaps it’s because the premise of your relationship is set: distance, time, space – they’re not on your side. You know you will part ways and continue on your individual journeys. Goodbyes are constant, so you choose to live in the moment and be okay with it.
But allowing yourself to be emotionally open with people who are from ‘home’, however you may want to define that, requires more, because you don’t think they’d leave. After all, distance is (technically) on your side. You expect them to stay, to be available, to make the conscious decision to be present.
But the truth is, everybody leaves. By choice or by circumstance – goodbyes are always hanging overhead. Would you risk the chance of having a meaningful and empowering relationship with someone just because you’re scared they’d leave?
And if you’ve left first, are you going to be willing to turn around, walk back, and ask for another chance?
I guess at the end of it… It’s just a matter of which bullet you’re more willing to bite.
Certain bullets I wish I could unbite.
Lots of love,