I’ve been dragging my feet to write this entry for far too long. I woke up missing travelling, solo backpacking and writing, so I’m taking it as a sign. The time is right, in so many ways, for me to write this closing chapter.
I’ve written all I needed to write (on this blog) on my Andalucian adventure – will be proceeding to Barcelona next – and I’m at a point where I’m learning to throw back some of life’s curveballs.
I am not a believer of commercialised souveniers but I knew I needed a momento from the Andalucian trip, something to remind me of this journey of self-discovery and the progress I’ve made.
For the past 5 years, I’ve worn a (promise) ring on my right ring finger. I’ve worn it for so long, there’s still a mark a month after I’d taken the ring off. I wanted to gift myself with a new ring, as a symbol of this journey. A ring, because it can be a constant reminder and twisting it around my finger can be a form of self-comfort in times of distress (just a habit). More than anything else, I wanted something new.
I found this ring in a small corner stall, the last stall in fact, in the medieval-themed fair earlier. I was looking for a simple ring, but all the other stalls had were gaudy statement rings, so much so I’d nearly given up. This particular stall grabbed my attention as it sold accesories that were handmade there and then by this one guy. I saw the ring nearly immediately and knew it was THE one. It was a perfect fit. But I didn’t want the ring to be complete, so I’d asked the guy to open it up for me.
He smiled at my request, remade the ring and said “May you find what you are looking for.”
I don’t know how he knew, but at that moment, our eyes shared a smile that went beyond understanding.
It felt like such a beautiful way to close the chapter, with a shared understanding between two souls.
You see, I fell in love a few months ago.
But I didn’t fall in love with the man. I fell in love with the man I thought he was; I fell in love with what he could be.
We were never together. We barely knew each other, really. But I fell for him still, nonetheless. It happens, y’know? The heart doesn’t like following the laws of logic.
For a few days, I was beating myself up over it. It felt painful, knowing that this is my weakness.
But someone said this to me, something I am very grateful for:
“Always seeing the best in someone is your strength. It makes you who you are. One day you’re going to find someone who is worthy of all that love and faith in your heart. Don’t let this change you into someone you’re not.”
It’s always a matter of perspective isn’t it?
If you’re going through a painful period, try to read Healing is a choice. It helped me this morning, I hope it’ll help you too. 🙂
On that note, thank you for lessons, the memories and the experiences, Andalucia.
To the next leg of the SeekingSpain journey!
Lots of love,