237. This is how it feels like.

That heavy sense of foreboding. The painful tensing of muscles in my neck and shoulders. The palpitating heart unaware of the dangers that may be. The restlessness itching through the very core of my body. The difficulty to breathe.

That’s how I know it’s coming.

An attack.

I need to deal with this.

“It is okay to feel overwhelmed. It is a perfectly valid feeling. What you need to remember is to keep moving forward. It can even be a case of taking two steps forward and one step back. The tragedy is when you take one step back and then refuse to move. Realise that the best way to handle your current situation is to work with what you have right now and to be kind to yourself. You are your strongest supporter, deal with yourself in the kindest and best manner possible.”

I finally made the jump and went for my first counselling session in NIE, and what my counsellor had to say in the end made so much sense.

If there’s no shame in seeking help for medical problems then there should be no shame in seeking help for psychological problems. There is no shame in not knowing. When we don’t know, we look for those answers.

I have dealt with depression, post-traumatic stress disorder and anxiety disorders for a significant part of my life, heck, since I was twelve. It’s not easy, and I falter lots of times, but I try. I have seen how people who refuse to deal with their issues in healthy ways allow the negative spillovers to affect their relationships with others. It doesn’t only destroy the person, it destroys the people around them too.

There is no shame in seeking help, full stop.

It’s time to remove the stigma.



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