184. Balance

A couple of weeks ago, a friend said this nonchalantly to me after I explained my schedule (hence our inability to meet): “Memang baguslah kau takde boyfriend, memang kau takde masa untuk dia nanti!” [It’s a good thing you don’t have a boyfriend! You wouldn’t have time for him!]

I was slightly upset at first but… something within me finally clicked today.

The moment I came back from Manchester, I took on so many things. 6 modules in Honours year, 8 tuition kids and a whole bunch of other side projects. I was a) determined to earn money & save up again cos my savings were depleted in Europe and b)…. I was running away.

I was making myself so busy, so tired and so overwhelmed, so that I wouldn’t need to face the myriad of feelings associated with re-entry, associated with coming back to a place which holds so much memories from the failed relationship.

It’s funny. I work so hard to be able to go on trips, I go on trips because I get burnt out from working so hard.

I need to find balance, somehow.

Baby steps.

*This picture was taken during today’s crazy adventure. 🙂

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