178. Why do people stay in abusive relationships?

“”I love him,” she told me resolutely. “I know he can do better.””

A dear, well-intentioned friend shared this article with me today to show how far I’ve come and I cannot NOT pass this forward. Walking away from an abusive relationship, no matter verbal, emotional, physical, financial or -more often than not- a combination of all, is not easy. I know this. The victim clings onto hope and love. I clung on to hope and love.

They don’t stay for the pain. Their desperate, often palpable hope, if you sit in the room with them, is that the abuse will go away. And they tend to block out all evidence to the contrary. In point of fact, they stay for love. Many abuse survivors cling to the positive traits in their partners — like being affectionate and reliable. In one study, more than half of the abuse survivors saw their partners as “highly dependable.”


If you know of anyone who is in an abusive relationship, reach out to them and GIVE THEM STRENGTH TO WALK AWAY. Recognise that they are powerless and often cannot see beyond their immediate situation. Take them out, be their support and clear their vision. They are in no way tied down to the situation. They will not be alone. They are not alone.

It has been 6 months and I’ve come a long way, thanks to His grace. Here’s giving voice to all the other people (both men AND women) who are in abusive relationships. Realise this: You CAN help. Help the abused and the abuser. What good a friend are you if you just let them be?

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