Dhul Hijjah for the struggling souls.

The first ten days of Dhul Hijjah are upon us and Muslims believe these are the best ten days of the entire year. The Prophet (pbuh), said: “There are no days in which righteous deeds are more beloved to Allah than these ten days.” [Bukhari] They signify the start of the sacred Hajj pilgrimage, and…

Accepting my illnesses.

A few days ago, I finally spoke aloud to a medical officer that “I may have bipolar disorder.” He was prescribing me medication and asked me to choose between 2. He recommended one, and when I asked about the side effects (you always need to ask), he’d said, “Oh, nothing much, unless you have a psychological…

Relapsed.

I’ve avoided taking a look in the mirror recently because I’ve struggled to recognise the person looking back. I’ve been going steadily downhill and struggling greatly with the ptsd and depressive episodes, with a thorough relapse over the past week or so, and started feeling disassociated with myself. I have decided to get professional help…

Srebrenica – We’ll never forget.

We all know about Auschwitz, about the massacre of Jews, gypsies, homosexuals, and others in Germany, but not really Srebrenica. Today, 11 July, is Srebrenica Memorial Day. The Srebrenica Massacre was the systematic genocide of more than 8000 Bosniaks in Srebrenica during the Bosnian War that started on 11 July 1995. It was an ethnic…

I am not my illness.

I am not my illness. This illness is not me. Last Saturday, I’d gone back for #rainbowsforbatam with my alumni, which meant this beautiful people knew me before this. (My last trip was before the trauma happened.) I was not okay, and the constant concerned “Are you okay?”-s and “It’s okay, you rest, we’ll take over.”-s from…

Reflections on Surah Yusuf

“What’s your fav surah?” “Surah Yusuf.” I surprised myself with that answer that night. I’d normally say Al-Inshirah, or Ar-Rahman, but I spoke faster than my brain, and the questioner nodded his head quietly. I couldn’t even quite remember the content of surah Yusuf then, but it didn’t matter. I began listening to Surah Yusuf…

Happy World Book Day!

As a child, I would escape through books. Like what Oprah aptly said: Books were my pass to personal freedom. It took me to worlds beyond my own, the small apartment in Woodlands, beyond Singapore, beyond my kampung in Melaka even. It allowed me to live many lives and die many deaths; to feel less…